Si Oyen yang Boyot

Assalamualaikum,

nampak tak bende pelik dlm peti ais tu..Name si gemok tu Oyen the Boyot.. sebab die boyot sangat..wahahahaahaha..saje nak show off kat sini..wink..wink..wink..sekian

It mean to be like this...

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The above quote had deep meaning for me. I mean, like real deep.
Around the time those quote posted on my own FB wall, I receive a heart breaking news, not that i'm not inform before hand, it just that, it hit me harder than it should.
In so many ways, I had prepared, literally, my body and soul, for that time to come. And even how much I had prepared, how strong I had become, and how busy I tried to distract my mind, it still hurt me deeper than it should. 
I tried so hard to pretend everything is okay, I'm okay, I guess.
But when all the 'evident' presented before me, I just couldn't make myself to look at it. I'm afraid that I will freak out and loosing everything I had prepared. It just scared me.
I just scared to face the fact that my very own heart already broken, since long time ago, and he, May Allah bless him, had happily found someone that able to patch his broken heart. Figure.

"and so, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be"
- what a masterpiece~ 

J-MIN - Hero

English Translation:

Since I was young, a secret seed was planted in my heart
It’s growing little by little, a thick loneliness

Days I couldn’t handle by myself, days when no one could help me
Days stained with tears, the name I long for

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

You entered my name and erased the dark shadow
Your shining smile fills me up

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

And I will remain as a cozy attic memory deep in your heart
And I will remain as a memory that chases away darkness deep in your heart

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

Romanized:

Eoril jeokbuteo nae mamsogen nammoreul ssiasi simeojyeo
Jogeumssik jaranago isseo museonghan oeroum

Honjaseon gamdanghal su eopdeon nugudo dowajul su eopdeon
Nunmullo eollukjin nanaldeul geuriun geu ireum

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

Geudaega nae mame deureowa eoduun geuneureul jiugo
Dangsinui bitnaneun misoga nareul chaeune

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

Geurigo nan neoui mamsok gipi
Pogeunhan darakbange gieogeuro nameuri
Geurigo neon naui mamsok gipi
Eodumeul mullichyeojun chueogeuro nameuri

Hoo~ Hoo~ Hoo~

P/s : It's already 1 month since i start working at UPM. It's kinda awesome yet scary. To many responsibility and I sometime forgot that I'm not a student anymore. For me to be able to fight through all this, its all thanks to my HEROes (to Allah, whom i can only cry to, to depend to, anytime anywhere; my ibu and ayah, who keep on becoming my strength even though I already thought of shut my self at the corner; to my family & friends, who keep their trust & faith in me when I already give up; and of cause to me, who know when to cry, when to seek help, when to fight, when to give up, when to smile, and when to trust in my self, thank you. You are my Hero. (^,^)  

Syair Imam Syafie

Assalamualaiakum,
Just a few minute ago, I randomly browsing the YouTube channel and found this one video by the title " GPTD: Ahmad Ammar dlm kenangan (1993-2013)". i was so touch by the video and i can't stop crying. i did't know him, but yet it broke my heart just to see it. and there is one poem by Imam Syafie that he read, and i end up to like it ;

 dan tiadalah duduk setempat bagi orang yang cerdik

dan beradab itu dianggap sebagai rehat

tinggalkanlah tanah air dan mengembaralah

berkelanalah, engkau akan dapat pengganti orang yang kamu tinggalkan

berusahalah,kerana keindahan hidup itu ada pada berpenat-penat

aku melihat air yang tenang bertakung, mencemar kandungannya sendiri

sekiranya ialah mengalir, ia akan baik

sekiranya ia tidak mengalir, tercemar 

Allah really know what goes inside my mind, what did broke my heart. He give me sign, show me reason and mend my broken heart.

" Verily after each difficulty, there's a relief".

Amin..

P/s : Al-Fatihah to Ahmad Ammar..

Park JangHyun - Two People

After a tiring day passes, underneath the

moonlight, two people become one shadow

A vague happiness that seems

reachable is still over there

Even if my scarred heart casts

a shadow on your dreams

PLease remember that a person, who

loves you till it hurts, is next to you

Although this path seems far sometimes,

even if you shed tears out of sadness

Until everything becomes a memory,

let’s become each other’s resting place

When I’m walking with you, when I can’t

see where I need to go or the path I’m on

I’ll remember the world of that day when

everything dazzled with just you alone

I’m still awkward and I lack but

until always, I’ll be by your side

On a dark night, e

ven if we’re lost and

wandering, let’s be each other’s light

In the far days ahead,

even if the dreams we’re looking

for isn’t past the rainbow

The times spent with you right

now are more precious to me

Although this path seems far sometimes,

even if you shed tears out of sadness

Until everything becomes a memory,

let’s become each other’s resting place

I’m still awkward and I lack but

until always, I’ll be by your side

Even if the cruel wind blows again, we

will overcome the rough times together

p/s : so in love with this song..the original version is by Sung Si Kyung by the same title..that one is nice too~

Delusion

Should I give up

Should I ignore

Should I just go away

Should I forget

Should I pretend

Should I just cry

Getting angry

Devastated

Broken inside

Until how long should I repent for the wrong that I did

The wrong that I desire

That I purposely did

Because I know that is my limit

It is wrong for me to avoid things that I hate to do

Things that scare me

Things that I know will ruin me

Maybe I should just do what I want to do

Just be who I want to be

Don’t bother what other think and do

Just be some passerby

Just be some observer

Just be ignorant

Just be indifferent

Just being alone

Just being heart broken

Just being me

sebulan ++...

assalamualaikum..
terase cam nak mncampak sgala bende yg beserabut dikepla..sbulan plus2 da pon..mmg pon..rase cam dah adapt xde sape contact n msg..ok ker? seday ke? bengang ker?..

masalah yg berlaku, aq nih sikit la punyer heartless or pretend to be..and somebody da smpai limit nk meletop die..ksabaran tahap xingat dunia..maybe i'm pushing him too much..who knows..xckp xtau..

aq nih bajet je relax..tapi belek hp hari2..typical reaction bile org prempuan gado..wlpn dulu abis kuat aq denied...cit..aq hilang aura da nih..bkan ilang aura je..hilang sabar, hilang rase, hilang akal (?)..

wahai ego yg tinggi mngunung, cam ne nk bagi ko kecik skit..susah le aq nk bagi chance kt diri sendiri supaya jdi lembut ati n mngalah..lagi2 klau bab2 cam nih..tapi aq mngalah da kot..aq first with happy Ramadhan kat die..

geezz~ i dont understand this anymore..

p/s: craving for Red Velvet Cake~